It is a hot
afternoon in the ‘70s, and we are at the Chembur market. My mother had pulled
my sister and me along for a round of miscellaneous shopping.
Chembur
market, a very crowded place, was a one-stop area for everything you could
think of – greens, veggies, school books, coffee powder… There were special
South Indian stores for items not available in the general stores and South
Indian magazine shops for our weekly reading. Basically, everything under the
hot Bombay sun.
There were
numerous eateries along our way to keep the two girls distracted. Our mother –
like all mothers - had the ability to act like she hadn’t noticed our pleading
looks. But when we kept persisting, and she couldn’t evade the stares any
longer, she came up with questions like:
‘Do you know
what kind of water it is cooked with?’
‘Do you want
to get cholera?’
‘Do you see
that guy’s fingers? How dirty they are! And yet you want to eat that?’
To be
honest, my sister and I were willing to risk a bout of cholera to get some of
those goodies into our tummies, but we had a feeling that reply wouldn’t go
down too well with our mother. So we kept quiet and trudged obediently along…
until we reached the sugarcane juice vendor.
My mother
was too tired to argue by this point, so she decided that cholera was something
she could live with. The three of us chose not to dwell on the vendor’s nails, which
were blackened with dirt and almost completely dipped in the jar of juice.
‘One-full,
two-half!’ my mother said to the sugarcane-wallah.
Wherever we
went, whatever we bought, it was always the same – ‘one-full, two-half’. The
same thing would happen when we went out with our father. He would order two
Gold Spots or Mangolas – one for him and the other spilt between the sisters.
One-full-two-half
was the norm in many middle-income families like ours, where parents didn’t
want to disappoint their kids, yet didn’t have money to splurge on them.
Our home had
a constant flow of guests and relatives, and my mother was always cooking in
huge proportions. Our guests spanned various categories – relatives,
family-friends, father’s Rotarian friends, sometime our uncle’s friends from
Chinmaya Mission (all sanyasis but of assorted varieties, from South Indian to
American to Italian…). Regardless of who it was, we would all eat sitting
cross-legged on the floor in a large circle.
Maybe this
trait in my parents - treating everyone equally, with no one being any less or more
special in their eyes - endeared them to so many and made them all feel at home.
To this day,
the one habit we sisters continue to follow is to eat everything on our plates
-absolutely no wastage. Something that was drilled into us by our parents.
When my
roles changed, and I became a mother, I tried to continue the same good
practices –but they boomeranged L
When my
elder son was 5 years old, he once refused to finish his food and was coming up
with various excuses. I started telling my usual horror stories of how children
in Somalia don’t have anything to eat, and that the food that he wasted could
feed two kids there and so on…
He finally
force-fed himself, and threw up everything. Probably, he didn’t have the
courage to tell me that the food didn’t taste good that day. Needless to say,
he and his father kept wailing at me that whole day. That was the end of that
Somalia story.
On another
occasion, I was shopping at a market in Bangalore with my friend and my second
son who was then 8 months old. We stopped at a popular juice shop, Ganesh
Juice, at Jayanagar 4th block. I just ordered 2 mango shakes (both ‘full’
of course 😊), not counting the little one.
But I realized
it was a bad idea when my glass was three quarters empty, and I had not even
started drinking it. I had misjudged the little fellow. My friend, the
shopkeeper and the others there were giggling at my predicament and the burping
little boy.
Food brings up
a lot of memories - all of them good.
Being a family
of foodies, food is always the key ingredient at every get-together.
Every
wedding we go to is strictly rated by the quality of the food served. While
having breakfast, we plan lunch. And at lunch, the day’s dinner is decided.
Now it is
time for Diwali and sweets.
Growing up
we saw our mother preparing many different types of sweets and snacks in huge
boxes, over 4 or 5 days. The three of us sisters, and a few other kids from our
building, would sit around in the kitchen and help her. It was indeed a lot of
fun.
Now when I
see her fingers weakened by arthritis, it is hard to believe that these same fingers
put together all those massive Diwali feasts over the years…
My parents
were made for each other- Appa liked to invite people over, and Amma enjoyed
cooking for everyone. A formula for a happy, simple, content family.
Will their
daughters ever be able to measure up to their generosity and open-ness? We are
trying!
This Diwali,
lets Waste Not, Want Not. Have lots of sweets - do not take the fun out of the
festivities by counting calories. You can always compensate for the overdose of
sweets post Diwali, by doing pushups, planks and crunches until it hurts!
Happy Diwali
everyone, and warm wishes for safe, fun-filled and responsible celebrations!